Knowing how to roll a joint is is an essential life skill for any cannabis user.
If you’re reading this article then chances are that you’re harboring a dark, shameful secret: You can’t roll a decent joint to save your life. Not to worry, because there are millions of people around the world who are suffering from Joint Rolling Dysfunction Syndrome (JRDS), so you are not alone. With proper instruction, a positive attitude, some patience, anyone can overcome this debilitating condition and live the life you always imagined.
So how do you learn how to roll a pearl joint? The same way you learn any skill: Practice, practice, practice…
Assemble at least a gram of weed, high quality rolling papers (hemp OCB paper is best, no flavor and cleaner burn!), an herb grinder (or you can use your fingers depending on how sticky icky your flower is) a rolling tray, an ashtray, and either filter tips to make a filter or an old business card you don’t mind tearing up.
Block out thirty minutes to do nothing but learn this one essential skill. Start sober, and make the commitment that you will not smoke weed until you’ve rolled at least three perfect joints in a row. Do this alone, with your phone turned off, and preferably on a rainy day sitting next to a window you can occasionally look out of nostalgically.
Put on some chill lo-fi vibes at a moderate volume. Then grind up your cannabis thoroughly, stopping before it becomes powdery. Most times, the biggest mistake rookie rollers make is either over- or under grinding their weed. If you keep going until it gets powdery, rolling the joint will become redundant and you’d be better off just smoking it in a bowl. If you leave your buds too nuggy, the joint will be hard to roll and it will burn unevenly.
Watch Wiz Khalifa’s “How to Roll a Perfect Joint” video on YouTube and do what Wiz does. Over and over again until you get it right three times in a row without hesitation.
Hold your perfect joint up at eye level and marvel at it. Feel a sense of self-reliance and self-confidence you’ve never known before. Then visualize a few scenarios where utilizing your new skill will bring you rich rewards, like perhaps meeting a hot stranger at a party, who pulls you to the side and asks, seductively, “Hey do you know how to roll a joint?”
Fire up your masterwork and gaze out the window while vibing out listening to your lo-fi vibes as the joint burns down to nothing but a resin-stained cardboard filter.